There I was, in the bathroom, looking up and asked the age old question I always ask.
"Why is that there?"
'There' was the wall hanger, 'that' was an empty plastic Wal-mart bag. There that was, just hangin' out on a coat hangar in the bathroom- doing nothing much and not really makin' any sense as to what it's purpose being there was.
"Why is that there?"
"Who put this here?"
"What's that doing out here?"
"Who put that out there and what's it doing and why would you do that?"
I am the poster child for stupid questions. I know this because every time I ask the questions, my family stares at me like, well, like I just asked a stupid question. Typically I'm thought of just naggin', just patronizing, just startin' trouble where trouble didn't need startin! But the truth is, really I am genuinely curious. I'm always scratching my head at stuff around here. I'm always confused. I'm always truly baffled at the decisions of how this home is in this state. And really, how does this stuff end up where it does!
Let's just take a moment now. This is my home. I work relatively hard at it. I try, really I do. If you walked in now, there's a moment of normal-ness, but hang out for a while- you'll start to notice "the weird stuff".
There's an empty plastic bag in the bathroom hanging out on a coat hangar. There's an old disposable camera on a small wall shelf with picture decals. There's a bottle of hand lotion from some Christmas gift set tuck away in a corner of the frig and wall. I find coffee mugs everywhere, half drank and varying degrees of age. I find them in the bathroom, on counters, on window sills, outside in the middle of the yard, on logs, on the back of anything with a flat surface. There's underwear everywhere. I don't know why. I don't know why underwear is under the couch, on the couch, hanging off the couch, I don't know why it's in the shoes or even inside the playhouse in Zach's room. There are boots in the potty. There are sneakers in the drawers in the living room. Sometimes I find packages of pasta in the toy box.
So, I have questions. Lots.
But this is my home. And the plastic bag, just made me laugh at myself. Have you ever really thought of your life and how your home functions. I do. I am. Everyone has a way of explaining their lives. I do this with my day, my husband does that and the kids have this or that today. We go to this, this is how we discipline, this is what we read, this is what we like, this is how we love dinner or special occasions. But that's the general sweeping outlook of home and life. I'm talking about the little stuff, the tiny fragments of everyday and every details that is literally your life. The questions all around that make up home.
I use to really enjoy housekeeping and cleaning, honestly! When it was the two of us and no kids and full time jobs, I had a safe handle on it. But the kids came, I started to stay home and I entered a hilarious war zone I never imaged. You know the slogan "You may have won this battle, but we'll win the war!!!!" Well, I sort of have the opposite strategy for tackling this place. I'll never win the war, so I win some battles.
Oh, I'm not throwing my poor boys under any "momma's got it so rough" buses. Heck, a lot of my questions, the answer lays with me. "Jen, why did you put the bottle of lotion on the frig?" "Jen, why did you leave the laundry folded out on the couch for two days, so little boys could flail through it and wave underwear around at each other, the dog, the cat, on top of the hot wheels?"
This house operates on the energy level of today. I have little pet peeves and little anal retentive battles of organizing and keeping it all together. I can not stand doors opened- not frigs, not cabinets, not drawers, not nothin'! This is one of the battles I set out to win, I'll spend all day shutting things. I try to make sense of my cabinets. I have a cabinet for plastic ware and lids, I have a cabinet for dishes and bowls. I have a cabinet for food and even one for the pots and pans. But just because I have these ideas, doesn't mean my household shares my affinity for keeping it that way. I find plastic ware with the pots and pans. I find the peelers, the mixing spoons, the can openers in with the flatware. And the dishes and bowls! Oh, just forget it!
Once I tried to be really helpful! I had a questions!
"Huh, why are the bowls out of order?'
"Why are there large bowls on top of small bowls on top of various sized plates?"
Yep, I know-stupid questions. I thought I'd be helpful and have a small demonstration on how to properly stack and organize plates, bowls and such. I was wrong. And the strangest fight of my marriage ensued.
So, this is my home. Its got a little rhythm to it, and a splash of insanity. There are toys everywhere, despite my long day of picking up and putting away. I wouldn't eat off my floors. No, really don't! They have hair all over them, something sticky lives in the corner and half the gravel pit is scattered about my place. Random items have random spots, such as the lotion. Things just get placed quickly down when running after a two year old that's about to dive bomb off the table on to the end table. And there that item sits, slightly forgotten, mostly un-cared about.
I don't like cooking. I don't pretend to and I doubt I'll ever bother to really care to try. So, it's a safe bet you'll find nothing stewing, prepping or marinating in this house for any sort of meal on any given day (maybe once in a great while or if Marc's home to prepare us something yummy); however, if you open my microwave- you will open the gateway to love. Splattered love of an assortment of meals all prepared for the nutriment and adoration of my family. And please don't question what's in the frig, some questions I don't even ask.
I have Facebook, I'm privy to so many lives and in it I find I have no idea how so many live! I see snap shot of completed projects, of little children sitting sweetly in clean bedrooms, beautifully adorned tables, matching drapery and living room sets in freshly made over spaces! Floors so clean I'd eat off them! I hear great moments of chores completed, task list check off! Photos of deliciously groomed gardens and landscaped lawns! I see order and routine to the extreme degree I could only dream of such things truly existing. An alternate universe where rooms gleam with detailed attention and shimmering shine. I look around my house and all I see is my humble little war zone.
I see boys. I see pets, I see my absent mindedness and my attempted projects. I see my husband's whirlwind search for a pair of clippers. I see Zach's curiosity of what happens when you unroll all the paper towels. I see Isaac's desperate need to have everything tipped over or upside down. I see plastic bags hanging out with no plan to be useful. I see questions, endless questions of why? How? Where? When? Who?!
But I love my questions, I love them because they have so many answers. They answer the questions to how my home breathes, lives, functions and gets about day to day. Battles, ladies and gentleman, battles of love is how you run your household. Don't even bother to try win the war, that's about as successful as living in a dream of getting your own way and having clean floor to eat off of and matching furniture. Just find a battle you can win, ask some questions and prepared for the blank looks and the feeling you might be a little dense.
Just enjoy the joy that you live in a zoo and your its keeper. Besides, who has time for all the routine, order and cleanliness when there's an riveting game of hide-and-seek and tickle monster afoot!
(And yes, the plastic bag is still hangin' out, I'll get to it. Eventually.)
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